Parallel universe ...

... for those of you with children, or similar uni TV habits. You see, when I had an 11am lecture, I would generally lounge in bed eating crumpets which my mother had kindly delivered to me, watching my tiny TV. My programs of choice were generally kids TV, which is why I can still hum the smurfs tune, sing along with the Snorks, hate Jabberjaws and prefer the original Flintstones. And also, I came to have an appreciation for a man who can sing as he smiles, and show off his biceps whilst still keeping a G rating... Nathan from Hi-5.
So, picture the scene, New York on a rainy morning, yours truly sitting on her white leather sofa-bed (still waiting for friends of Sindy to come and try it out!), with a bowl of crispy brown rice cereal balanced in my lap, flicking through channels still trying to find a decent morning news channel (generally I stick to BBC!). And then I hear it "1-2-3-4-Hi5! 1-2-3-4-Hi5! Fun in the air..." etc. So I stop flicking, pick up my spoon, and prepare to eat happily whilst humming along to my favourites and secretly gawking at Nathan (he is scary but I can't look away!). That is when the parallel universe kicked in. Because I was not greeted by "Hi, I'm Nathan; I'm Kathleen; I'm Tim; I'm Kellie; I'm Charlie; and together, we're Hi5!!" Instead it was "Hi, I'm Sean; I'm Kimi; I'm Curtis; I'm Jennifer; I'm Carla; and together we're Hi5!".
I choked on my crispy rice!
No, you're not! I wanted to shout at the TV. Transfixed, I watched on. They are eerily similar, in that obviously the recruitment was done with their predecessors in mind, but with a local concern for equality and ethnic origin... Sean can sing with a smile, and has little biceps, but he is now Hispanic. Kimi is short, Asian and annoying and the rest of them avoid her (Kathleen?); Curtis is white, very skinny, dweeby and plays the guitar (wonder who?); Jennifer looks like an all-American cheerleader, with a side ponytail, and she hangs out with a handpuppet and giggles a lot; Carla is tall and bouncy, with an "infectious" laugh, and she is black...
I am not sure my system can cope with this. On top of the food that is not really food unless it is covered with cheese, giant appliances and so much rain, this was the final straw. I couldn't even wait to see if "Kimi" had a friend called JubJub. I finished my cereal as quickly as I could, and headed out to walk to work. Will I watch tomorrow, I am not sure ...
And I still have not found a clothes airer!